Sunday, Mothers Day… I have been full circle in regard to this day. It started with making cups of tea for Mum in bed. To making cards for her at School. To having my own money to buy a present for her. To thinking it was a commercial scam but still being too guilt ridden to not at least give her a card. To becoming a mother myself and realising what an amazing thing it is to be a mother and how amazing my mother is just for the sheer fact of giving birth to me and most especially for putting up with me. This morning as I was still languishing in bed at 9am my circle was completed with the thought that Mothers Day is a totally necessary day of the year and I have no feelings of cynicism left towards it whatsoever!
My day was surrounded by mothers and the state of being a mother. Once I did eventually drag myself out of bed my two boys wished me a “Happy Mother’s Day” with loud shrill voices, hands in the air and sloppy kisses. I then emerged to wish my grandmother and my mother-in-law happy mothers days.
I called my mum to wish her a ‘HMD’. She was busy at work looking after psychogeriatrics…She’s a Psych Nurse and has done this for about 25 years. She hates it. But she’s good at it. She’s firm but fair. Nothing gushy but completely dependable, rock-solid. I couldn’t think of a better woman to look after elderly people who have completely lost their marbles. Some of these people have the most amazingly sad stories to their lives so how wonderful to have a unshockable and capable woman like my Mum looking after them.
Next I called my Nana who a few days ago had gastro, cellulitis and something wrong with her gall bladder. Today she was fine. She’s a stoic woman too. Her head could be all but detached from her body and she’d still speak in the same level voice, not wanting to put anyone out or be a bother.
I got a text message from my sister who has two boys about the same age as my boys and who is pregnant again and very excited.
My grandma has been staying with us for the past week. She’s now considered ‘Legally Blind’ but was driving up to three years ago. Seems so cruel that after my grandfather died (although very sad) she finally had some time to herself but now she can’t see what she’s doing and so is losing her independence at a very quick rate.
Mostly she is gracious and upbeat but really she’s struggling and feeling pretty down about the whole thing. For years she’s been telling me how much she loves the beach and the sea. We’ve always talked about having a beach holiday together. And finally here we are having a beach holiday together. I took her into the ocean a couple of days ago. The waves were small but it really freaked her out. She felt really disoriented and afraid. Afterwards she sat on the beach staring into space looking defeated. When I asked her what she was thinking about she said that it felt like the end of an era. No more swimming in the ocean. Then she made a passing comment in another context about how there was no point making plans for next year as she might be dead.
Today we went to the beach again and I took her in the sea once more. This time she knew what to expect and didn’t falter. She squealed with delight when the waves splashed up at her, and once we got past the breakers she held onto my arm and paddled about in the water oohing and aahing and saying how wonderful it felt. She had a huge smile on her face. I said “maybe not the end of an era after all”, she said “maybe not”!
A day filled with mothers, full circle. 🙂