Who is Time Batting For? Not My Side.

Time 'aint on my side.
Time ‘aint on my side.

I feel tired, ragged and overwhelmed. I feel like I’m always chasing my tail and that I never have time to finish things.

Today I had a meltdown. I’ve been teary most of the day. I went into one of those downward spirals where suddenly everything had a negative spin to it. And then I stacked it up into an insurmountable pile just to complete the job of making myself feel like total crap.

To be perfectly honest I couldn’t be arsed to write tonight. I’m tired and I really just want to watch telly and switch my brain off. But I committed to this 30 day challenge so I’m sticking to it with every stubborn bone in my body.

crying-tears

My poor partner got a day of tears from me today. All day on and off. I’ve just been a total basket case. It’s taken me the best part of the day to really break it down and work out what the problem is. Aside from stacking the bad (sooooo not productive) when it all boiled down to it the problem was I am ragged. I stay up way too late doing ‘stuff’ and still get up early to do ‘stuff’. What is all this super important ‘stuff’ I have to do?

I went through a stage of blaming my children for my lack of time. ‘I can’t because of the boys’. Thankfully I snapped out of that a while ago and started just being grateful for having them in my life. The realisation came when I got hooked on the Twilight series and was suddenly able to find oodles of time for reading!

Today’s teary day finally ended in ENOUGHHHHHHHHH!!!

Something had to give.

So, I created a weekly schedule… Something that includes everything… work, yoga, child time, me time, writing time, eating time, housework, shopping… everything.

schedule

It was a surprising exercise. I realised a few things:

  1. There are only so many hours in the week.
  2. There are actually a lot of hours in the week.
  3. There is ample time for me to get plenty of stuff done and relax too.
  4. I waste A LOT of time.
  5. Rome wasn’t built in a day!!

So, I’ve scheduled in all the stuff I need to get done in the way of work and chores. I’ve also scheduled in time for learning and being creative. And most importantly I’ve scheduled in fun time with the family and time just for me.

Crazy that it feels selfish to have ‘me’ time. But sooooo important. If you’re not looking after yourself first then you don’t have much to give anyone else. It’s a hard lesson to learn. Especially for a mother (most of us mothers are used to putting everyone else first).

I’ll post about this again in a week and let you know how having (and sticking to) a weekly schedule has (hopefully) improved my relationship with time.

This is Day Seven of a 30 day writing challenge
inspired by Matt Cutts on TED Talks


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16 thoughts on “Who is Time Batting For? Not My Side.

  1. I’m right there with you Leonie. I’ve had a really emotional week plus I got the flu. I spiralled down into a huge pit and couldnt get out of it. It wasnt pretty. I turned the corner today and am feeling so much better. My husband just keeps saying how great it is to have me back.
    Thanks for sharing this on your post. I totally get where youre coming from.
    Encouragment and support for one another goes a long way!!!
    Sue xxx

    1. Oh awesome Sue. Thanks for your empathy… Sorry to hear you’ve been in that pit. It aint pretty in there! But I guess when you’re juggling family, business and a little ‘me’ time in there somewhere, the wheels are gonna fall off eventually. Isn’t it great to have special people around to put them back on again. 🙂 xxx

  2. I had a meltdown yesterday, too. It happens. It’s nice to remember that there are actually a LOT of hours in the week, and it’s just about prioritizing. Most people spend 5 hours a day watching television (often browsing the internet at the same time). Better to plan things and be productive, I think.

    1. I know. It’s such a worthwhile exercise to take a look at your week, block out all the stuff you want to do and see what you’re left with… Vegging out in front of tv is enjoyable, but such a time sucker. Once you start prioritising things… And not just the chores and work, but the learning, the reading, the being creative, the quality time with friends and family and the relaxing ‘me’ time… TV isn’t very appealing. 🙂

  3. I assumed when I saw the title of your blog that, like me, you had left London! I think you are doing amazingly well with the challenge, considering how much you have to do each day. I am retired, so don’t have nearly as much to do as you, but I am still finding it tricky to fit in writing a post every day. Well done! In the days when I worked full-time, had three children to look after, tried to exercise regularly as well as write (in those days it wasn’t blogging though!) – the one thing I tended to cut down on was the cleaning…..!!! I figured it could always wait until tomorrow!

    1. Hi Sue. Haha! The big smoke in my instance was Melbourne. 🙂 But my header and name were a little inspired by Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall’s River Cottage. Sounds like you’ve left London for Spain. How lovely 🙂 Thank you for the encouragement. I have such a bad habit of wanting to build Rome in a day. Which just gives me a constant feeling of failure. Really need a reframe. …I must admit, my toilets have been less than pristine lately. Something has to give!!

  4. Great post! We all have days like that but I’m so proud of how you turned it around. As an anti-overwhelm coach you did exactly what I get my clients to do – set boundaries! Great job!

  5. “If you’re not looking after yourself first then you don’t have much to give anyone else.”

    Very, very true.

  6. Hi Leonie, I look forward to your posts and a I’m happy to admit that I am human, too. I try too hard, have great expectations, am a perfectionist, and yearn to be creative every minute in ways other than being on the computer. I am happiest in motion, moving, growing, and feel tied to this social media. But, we are building relationships in ways that were not possible before, and connecting with people all over the world. You admitting your vulnerability is not easy, but it allows the rest of us to do the same. And you can see this in the replies you’ve received. So thank you for your honesty. Now, rest, and tomorrow is another day.

    1. Thanks Kimberlee 🙂 …I’ve just posted a shorter post so that I can go to bed and rest! …I know what you mean about computer time. It can take up so much of the day if you let it… Just another thing that needs to be scheduled!… Time on email, time on social media. For me anyway. I’m realising more and more that I’m the sort of person that needs a schedule. I’ve got good discipline but lousy self control… So if I have to do something then I’ll do it, but if I don’t have do do something than I can EASILY fluff about and get nothing done… Including relaxing!

  7. Hope this new schedule works out for you.

    You have inspired me to do my own schedule. I’ve realised that I waste alot of time too…. only I waste it on nothing in particular, like browsing the net or watching tv, definately habits that need to be broken.

    1. Great Sophie! What I’m loving about the schedule is that I get to put in all the stuff I want to be doing not just because I have to but because it’s enjoyable… like hot baths, writing, painting, yoga. Then once you’ve done the chores, the fun, the relaxing then there’s still time for fluffing, browsing, telly, whatever you want to fill that time in with. …Its like a budget… It needs to be realistic, and realistically we’re not going to be super efficient and time-strict 24/7. 🙂

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